OH, NO…NOT MORE JOKES!

 

 

What did the chicken say when she saw an orange on her mother’s nest?

“Look at the orange mama-laid!”

 

 

What should an elephant do when he falls, hurts his toe and can’t walk?

“Call the toe truck!”

 

 

Why did the elephant cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!

 

 

How does a car go if it has a horn, but no motor or wheels?

Beep, beep!

 

 

What did one candle say to the other candle?

“Going out tonight?”

 

 

What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?

“Where is Popcorn?”

 

 

What is green and dangerous?

A thundering herd of pickles!

 

 

What do you call a baby whale that cries?

A little blubber!

 

 

What should you do if you catch your dog eating your dictionary?

“Take the words right out of his mouth!”

 

 

What does the music teacher brush his teeth with?

A tuba toothpaste!

 

 

What do you get when you cross a parrot and a centipede?

A walkie-talkie!

 

 

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?

Pilgrims!

 

 

What is yellow, has feathers, and hops up and down?

A canary with the hiccups!

 

 

Why did the witch have so much trouble with her twins?

“She couldn’t tell witch was witch!”

 

 

What happened to the frog when he ate a poisonous bug?

He croaked!

 

 

A skunk, a frog and a duck went to the movies.

The admission was a dollar.  Which one couldn’t get in?

The skunk.

The frog had a green back;  the duck had a bill;

and the skunk had a cent  –  and it was a bad one!

 

 

How does pasta think?

“It uses its noodle!”

 

 

What is black, white; black, white; black, white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle!

 

 

Why do bees hum?

“Because they don’t know the words.”

 

 

How is the toddler who swallowed a quarter?

“No change yet!”

 

 

What was the name of the ruler with the bump on his head?

King  Konk!

 

Ο            Ο            Ο

 

 

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